(Week 9) Blog Five Checkpoint
- Natt Pano
- Sep 21, 2024
- 10 min read
Updated: 14 hours ago
{I apologise to the reader in advance, but I will mention god/jesus in my blogs, as he is my strength of perseverance. I wouldn't be where I am mentally without my faith in him. Again, you have the right to believe or not believe. I don't have the intention to make you feel uncomfortable or pressured about religion. I hope you understand🥹.
I also apologise for how long this blog is🥺.}
Context and current process:
A quick recap: I am designing a capstone project within 12 weeks, which I will document in my blogs and show my progress on Miro. For this week's progress, I am completing most of the tasks required for the poster assignment, specifically the challenge cards, the final VR environment, and the logo design (I will elaborate on the details of each task within the reflective model).
Proceeding into the project, I will make sure to follow the feedback provided for international and domestic uni students and further develop ideas according to their preferences while also continuing to follow and portray the research question, "How might we foster the mental wellness of international and domestic New Zealand uni students by improving interactions using VR?"
For this coming week's process (week 10), I will finalise the poster (kind of have to, heh) and the components required, which are the final physical challenge cards, the final logo, the user testing process, and a small section on the report (the abstract). Now, mentioning the abstract, I will also need to write the report, so I might as well get some of the nightmare completed😭.
Chosen Model:
I will continue to incorporate the 'What? So What? Now What?' model in this blog. I am not the type for change, so I'm sticking to this model😭. On a real note, I want to improve how I use this model within my reflective writing and the feedback given in the previous blog.
[Figure 1: Rolfe et al., (2001) reflective model What? So what? Now what?]
What?
[24th September] The amount of stress I felt today was not it😭 Imagine waking up, not wanting to go to uni, but ending up going, and then getting bombarded with a lot of uni work. To make it worse, it's uni work I initially thought I had under control. In my previous blog, I have mentioned that I'm not fond of this occurrence🥺. I actually nearly cried in class, but I held it in. However, I did a better job grounding myself, somehow. I do need to get a crack on my work, like asap rocky🥲 or else (pardon me) I'm f*cked.
However, I have developed some fast logos. In addition, I created a project name that I actually like a lot: 'Artsy InterVision'. Do you realise how it incorporates all elements of the project, such as the inter-culture, inter-space (for technology), the prototype solution (painting), and how it involves 'vision' for the eye, which could represent both mental health and the fact the person is using their eyes to view the virtual environment; very mindful, very demure, very cutesy😌💅🏻.
[Figure 2: Logo Concept Ideas. My Miro.]
[25th September] Okie, I didn't realise how challenging it would be to begin the virtual reality world. The thing is, I still need to figure out what to use because every expert I speak with recommends different software. It's confusing me, and I just want to get started😭. I also don't know who to talk to, as I don't know what software works for me best. It's all in a shamble, for real🥹. What do I do? I'm not sure. I'm not pausing, though. I will continue working on other components relating to the poster. I pray I'm following my right instinct. I'm also following the path god provides me, so if I face any setbacks, there's a solid reason (Again, this is my belief. You are allowed to believe in whatever you want. It's a free world💅🏻💯).
Continuing, I have begun my poster composition and content planning. I did this to help understand how to consider presenting my VR environment and other project components. I did it so that I have two template alternatives to work with. One includes more work than the other (the four squares one). I feel like the more space I have, the better I can present my project.
[Figure 3: Poster Composition Ideas. My Miro.]
I continued with my Art challenge cards. I'm planning to do eight for each category. I developed the concept ideas and collected feedback. The issue that I kept running into was making decisions. Again, I'm indecisive. It's not helping that I can't pick a final idea to develop further on ;-;. I love all my designs too much to choose😭. It is actually stressful. However, I do have the instinct to follow advice from only a few people. I'm glad I followed their opinions, considering the results are worth it 😌.
Figure 4: Challenge Cards Concept Ideas. My Miro.
[26th September]
Regarding the VR process, I explored the recommended software by the experts (from the class presentations) (Meta and VRchat). I will ask the stream lecturers and the Fablab expert to help secure the final software. I pray that will help me🥲.
Update:
Hey, so I cried🥲 (laughing at myself right now). I cried in front of the stream lecturer and then in front of the Fablab expert. You now know that I can't handle my emotions when I feel overwhelmed and not in control of my planning. I'm not fond of not knowing my future process because it makes me feel like not having a plan equals having no progress🥹. Although I didn't trust myself and my strength in this challenging situation, I knew god had a good plan. So, I trusted his strength. I'm so grateful for the good people around me and for my strong faith🙏🏻. The Fablab expert offered to help me the next day (I'm crying out of happiness😭). I didn't want to go empty-handed, so I did some prepping, as exhibited below (p.s. Some things have changed for the final).
Figure 5: VR Project process. My Miro.
[27th September] I'm not going to lie; a lot is co-occurring😭. I pray that everything will go as planned. Also, from the lack of sleep and being forgetful, I don't remember what I've done and what I still need to complete first. There's a lot😭.
Regarding the breakdowns I had yesterday, with the help of the FabLab expert, I began and completed the virtual space (the expert with experience in gaming and emerging technologies). I want the person to be known just because they helped me a lot😭. Words can't explain the stress they took off my shoulders. I'm genuinely grateful 🥺🙏🏻. We decided to use Spatial and Meta-Horizons and Rhino for components, which I didn't really use (Only for the rectangles, heh). The software decision changed a lot😭. They said not to begin the components from scratch, so I utilised the provided template in Spatial, slayyyy💅🏻. Another slay is how all VR components work. There's an interactive feature and a drawing feature (which is pretty cool because the drawing also automatically shows the process of how you drew your artwork). For the first time in a while, the work actually met my expectations🙏🏻🥳.
I used a Meta Quest 3 headset to create all the VR drawings. In addition, I did include some drawings from my laptop. It gives the same results as VR and is more appropriate for health (I felt sick most of the time, and others might experience that too. Therefore, I thought the other drawing alternatives were a good idea). To be frank, having the VR headset on for too long can fuck up your eyes😭 (sorry, language. It expresses how much it could ruin your eyes). The drawing was fun, though; Very peaceful, very relaxing, very demure😌 (I'm sorry😭 TikTok trend, heh).
Update:
The participant who tested my work did feel nauseous🥹. It's a good thing the actual activity is in person.
Example of artwork automatically showing its drawing process:
{P.s. I can't get this artwork back because I accidentally deleted it😀. It was also my favourite one. It's fine. I got the video and images of it, thank god😭.}
Credit: Nattalie Panossian. Spatial.io.
Figure 6: Creator's artwork in Artsy InterVision (project's name) environment. Spatial.io.
As for the previous VR space idea, we decided not to include the collage idea or use any small canvas. I feel like this minor modification makes things straightforward, even though they were my favourite components🥹. You have to do what you have to do for a functional VR space 😭. Am I right, or am I right?😌. Overall, it was a blessed and successful day.
[28th - 30th September] During these days, I focused on gathering hero shots and exploring the VR space. However, I did get distracted by playing my project activity. I was drawing for hours to where I either got dizzy or the battery died😃 (the flower drawing above is one of the paintings that distracted me). Thinking back on the creation process, I feel more optimistic about the outcome. Although we could have included additional elements, I feel like what we have is perfect. I don't need extra stress🥲. Nah, for real, though, I feel peaceful. I do think negatively sometimes. However, I find a way to rebalance myself and get back on track. Amen to that🙏🏻.
I have also conveyed my working process for the VR space on my Miro board. It looks more filled now, which I'm happy about😌.
I have a doubting feeling to share🥹 I feel like I took the easy way out, which I did, but I don't feel good about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than grateful to have my VR space completed. However, it's an existing template with additional components. I know we can do that, but I don't know; I feel like I could have done better. I could probably create the same space from scratch if I had more time. Oh well👁️👄👁️.
Figure 7: VR making process. My Miro.
As I did this, I had also been following up with iterations with both logos and the challenge cards. The feedback was still confusing, considering everyone picked something different. However, I'm working with it🥹.
Figure 8: Logo Iteration. My Miro.
Figure 9: Logo Iteration pt2. My Miro.
Figure 10: Challenge cards (mental challenge). Iteration. My Miro.
This is off-topic, but this is what my brain is like at the moment, precisely two things (I'm definitely over-working myself, bahaha😃):
My brain feels like placing a piece of paper on water and watching it slowly soak up and disintegrate. However, at the same time, I feel like my brain is taken out of its skull and put under a compressor, pushing down on my brain until it smooshes like a pancake😀. That's how I feel right now. However, I also felt mentally peaceful during it. It's like my body gave up, and my mind is getting exhausted, but spiritually, I'm strong. That's where I'm receiving my energy and strength to get through this project😭.
So What?
I feel like I should have considered the alternatives during challenging scenarios. Once something went wrong, I went straight to my conclusions, which caused me to cry. I need to ground myself and seek guidance. Doing that will save me millions of breakdowns😭.
Although I'm getting work completed, I need to maintain my physical and emotional health. You know how people say you can't have all three? Good mental health, sleep, and good grades? Well, I am slaying my mental health and grades (thank you, Jesus, for your strength 🙏🏻). However, my sleep has left the chat😃. I haven't slept well since mid-September. Coffee is barely doing the job🥲. I need to consider that more, or it's actually going to impact all categories of my well-being. I'm pretty sure it's beginning. I'm constantly exhausted. I don't remember the last time I woke up and felt refreshed. Help🥹. Lowkey, I need A LOT of massive bear hugs after all this chaos😢.
Regarding working, I don't know if you caught on, but I haven't shown the process for the report. That is because I had not touched it since the abstract (I still have time before the 2nd check-in😭). I need to continue working on balancing assignments. Although I have only two assignments, I do prefer one over the other. I love creative design but also find no happiness when doing the report. There must be a stage where I block what I think and just do it☹️😣.
Something that I really need to do is relax🥲. Re-reading this blog is giving me a headache. I need to chill and do things one by one. Constantly overthinking and reacting with literally every emotion sounds exhausting.
Self-note: Mentally calm down, natt😭 God is in your life for a reason.
Now What?
I need to seek God when I'm struggling to benefit my future process. If I have any doubt, anxiety, stress, worry, or burden, all I have to do is go to God. I do remember that I have him beside me. However, the negativity of my mind gets the best of me. Like, I always remind myself of our limited time before all the assignments are due. That terrifies me. I want to cry and hide from everyone, but I can't. Although I can't handle it myself, he can. I keep mentioning that in my blogs because it is true. I'm so grateful he found me before this period of my life. Amen🙏🏻.
This may not sound good, but I can manipulate myself to do the report. If I think of it as a life-or-death situation, then I might actually do it. Like, if I don't get this report completed on time, then I won't have boba ever again. Nah, on a real note, It's more like If I don't do it, I won't get the graduation in return😀. As we all know by now, the reason for feeling anxious or paranoid is because research is simply my weakness. There is nothing much I can do about it except persevere.
If I were to do this whole thing again, I would consider taking it easy on myself. Make an enjoyable plan or something, but don't add unnecessary stress. I got to keep the hair attached to the head, you know🥹. I feel like talking to someone can help remove the stress. I can do this session where I can express myself to someone and vice versa. Therefore, you are both venting but also not burdening each other. I could also draw in my Artsy InterVision world (wait, that's a good idea☝🏻😯).
Miro Progress:
(There won't be any Miro image updates as I forgot to take a screenshot back then (I am writing this the week after, heh. I'm sorry. The images above should determine where I am in this project process😭).
To conclude this blog, here are two videos. I hope they make you feel better. We have a lot ahead of us. We got this💪🏻😌.
Credit: Staffy_stryda. Instagram.
Credit: Jarthur0721. TikTok.
I thought about adding one of my favourite songs :) Enjoy😌
References:
Borton, T. (1970). Reach Touch and Teach: Student Concerns and Process Education. McGraw-Hill, New York.
Ddocs. (2024 April 10). Grammarly (8.912.0 version) [Large language model].
Driscoll, J. (1994). Reflective practice for practise. Senior Nurse, 13, 47 -50.
Jarthur0721. (2024, October). Arthur072L. TikTok.
Rolfe, G, Freshwater, D., Jasper, M. (2001). Critical Reflection for Nursing and the Helping Professions: A User's Guide. Palgrave MacMillian.
Staffy_stryda. (2024, September). Stryda. Instagram.
The University of Edinburgh. (2020). What? So what? Now what? The University of Edinburgh. https://www.ed.ac.uk/reflection/reflectors-toolkit/reflecting-on-experience/what-so-what-now-what
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