(Weeks 3 -6) Blog Two Checkpoint

Natt Pano
Jul 19, 2024
8 min read

Updated: 13 hours ago

{P.s: I'm sorry for who has to read this. You're my therapist atp. I am a positive person, I promise. Also, I incoperated updates for the weeks after blog one submission.}

Context/Current process:

The process for the past few weeks has focused on rearranging the miro board and progressing further with the project idea, which is within the defining and ideating phase of the methodology. The current process is developing an in-depth understanding of the project idea while following my new research question, "How might we support New Zealand's international university students' mental health, improving their interactions with domestic students by creating a comfortable environment in a Virtual Reality space?". In addition, I will brainstorm the goals and necessary elements: Helping international students connect to their university environment and incorporating an idea that ensures the connection between domestic and international students.

Chosen Model:

Initially, I had planned not to incorporate the 'What? So What? Now What?' model in my next blog, but I have reconsidered🤓. I mentioned how it lacks detailed steps when reflective writing. However, I concluded that I worked well with that model, so I want to continue using it and include the feedback from the previous blog.

[Figure 1: Rolfe et al's (2001) reflective model What? So what? Now what?]

What?

[August 1st-4th] My project process has experienced many obstacles and emotions, like many emotions😀. I am working on the defining and ideating stages and constantly fixing or reorganising my miro board. As for now, I am going in all directions when trying to iterate the primary idea and waiting for feedback from the interview participants. Although not much, I think I made decent progress compared to blog one's work. However, I aim to complete the previous weeks in the empathy and define phases so that I have a solid foundation to work on because, at the moment, I don't feel as stable as I should be. In saying this, the cause of the lack of stability is the first problem, which is mental health. I love how we are creating to improve an area of mental health when mine is lowkey getting worse because of this heh🥹 Respectfully, though, there's nothing wrong with the teaching and the people. I guess it is a "me" problem, which I am solving piece by piece. Correction: It is a "me" problem.

Anyways, [August 5th-8th] I continue to realise how impactful the environment is when studying. When alone at home, I can not find the motivation or positive mindset to do work unless it's the due date, and that's when I need to speedrun everything. For example, the last time I tried working from home, the outcome was doing no work ;-;. I wasted an entire day because I felt discouraged. It was lowkey the worst feeling ever.

The current locations I am studying are Gongcha and this other upstairs place with a beautiful view of the entire mall. These places help me concentrate and feel at peace. The store music and crowd noises made me realise I work better in loud spaces. Weird, right?🤷🏻‍♀️ However, I also realised how drained this is making me feel. "You could just stay home and stop making excuses" Believe me, I wish it were that easy, but I mentally just can't. I may be an extrovert at times, but my introverted side needs alone time to regain energy, and the fact that I have to go out just to study constantly is not for me. Oh well, just for another eight weeks or so, heh😢.

A little off-topic, but I always remind myself that you can't heal in the environment that broke you. Those words were the initial reason I considered making a change (literally writing this reflection in one of the spots I mentioned above). On a real note, I learnt a lot during that reflective moment. It helped me realise that I had many breaking points in my room. I realised that I needed a change to heal myself, even though the reason for this unstable mental health is because of uni. However, I can't just avoid the place and give up when I have been at it for almost three years now😭. I'd instead make those difficult times worth it by graduating, you know? (Sorry, I might come out as being dramatic🥹).

[August 1oth] This is a random update, but I realised when trying to complete my interviewing stage (receiving feedback) that some domestic students are more in groups with each other than international students, and vice versa. I found it difficult to find international students for my interview as I'm not friends with many (well, I thought it was, but I'm not🥹). All my close friends who go to university in Auckland are domestic students. I feel like mixing cultures isn't the problem in University environments, but being friends with individuals who are freshly out of their country. Hopefully, my project will help improve this. Away from the interviewing section, I have also done more in the ideating stage because I'm anxious. I spoke with one of the Fablab experts, and it was beneficial. They helped me understand my idea better and discover an easy way to complete the project (amen to them😭🙏🏻).

Update on my process, [August 13th-17th] I am continuing with the ideation aspect of the project and receiving help from experts that resonate with the VR interactive environment I intend to create. I realised how, instead of following task by task in order, I could work on something else and then go back if required. I feel like this procedure helps me maintain a cool, calm, and collected mindset. My role in this current situation would be to keep moving forward, regardless of how many tasks I need to complete or how I will achieve them. Making small progress is better than nothing.

However, being genuine with myself and the reader, I feel drained and overwhelmed. Although I had completed several tasks, there's still more to do. I'm looking at other's work, and oh my, each one gave me anxiety. Like they had completed so much, and there is me with the layout organised and less work🥺. I can't help but feel behind. I just need to trust and have faith in the process. Oddly, the past assignments that were due were somewhat straightforward. That doesn't usually happen when completing work on the due date😃. I consider that the power of god and the peace he provides me (Just to clarify and assure the reader, not that you need me to tell you what you believe in, but this is my belief; not everyone has to believe in god).

[August 19th] - Quick update.

(I kinda decided to do questions/bullet points for the rest of this blog. I am experiementing if this layout is better than just yapping my process and problems😐💅🏻).

What's working?

Things are getting completed, but if you ask me what's working (which you're not, heh), I would not have a straightforward answer. You would have to trust the process. That's what I aim to do. Don't stress, though. I'm getting shit done and am on track. It is just a thing my brain does😃🫠.

What challenging (needs work)?

To be genuine, it's annoying how I get an idea, but then it suddenly confuses me😑. Like, I feel as if I have everything sorted 😌then boom💥, I don't know how to approach it. I feel like shifting from task to task is the reason for my confusion. I do not want to fall behind the other categories of this project, you know? Why is the brain so complicated?

How are people working around me?

I don't want to know. Instead, I would do work at my pace and with a peaceful mindset rather than look at others' work and do my work while stressing and feeling doubt. Ha ha, no, thank you😭🫶🏻

So-what?

Based on the experience throughout these weeks tells me that I can make a positive change if I want to. It's a choice I choose to make. The new environment taught me to take advantage of the space you can access and work with it. I saw the problem of feeling discouraged and unmotivated to study, so acting on the problem allowed me to understand how I work the best and what settings help me be productive.

My train of thought was all over the place, not going to lie. However, the more I try to improve the situation or go with the flow, the more I develop a calm and well-put thought process. I also remember someone close to me advising me to take things one step at a time (they wanted to remain anonymous, but I got permission to use their words). Keeping this in mind has enhanced the easy-flowing reflection and decision-making throughout my project journey. Decisions like the style of VR I would consider or what approach I would take to help the interaction between international and domestic students.

I could have organised my schedule better. Although I have a to-do list, I do not particularly appreciate being directed or stuck to a list. I feel too pressured to get things done in the exact order. I could have considered a different approach. I feel like this is why I mentally note what I need to do instead of writing it down (I feel like I'm jinxing the process, which leads me to not completing it when I want to). Therefore, I could have sorted it out by maybe planning hangouts with myself, which is basically setting deadlines but not where I would jinx it or feel forced (yes, I know I'm lonely, heh🥹). It is like mixing something I enjoy with something I don't, respectfully😀.

Now What?

I can continue working in the changed atmosphere and try to improve my mindset at home, considering this can reduce feeling drained. In addition, this change can also save time, as I would need to get ready to go out if studying away from home, whereas working from home can occur straight after waking up. However, this might take some effort, as my mental health is in the process of healing from personal challenges. Let's hope I don't go in that state again heh🥺.

I can consider sticking to tasks and completing one before going to another. However, I would need to have deadlines and backup plans (the hangout plan I mentioned above) so that I won't fall behind nor feel overwhelmed if something doesn't go right, mental health included😃. For instance, I can work on ideating and iterating my final idea from DES300 and discover ways to approach the prototyping aspect while also waiting for the other tasks, like the interview responses. However, I must ensure I don't get off track when doing this. It's best if I stick to a section, complete that, then procced to the next. Do you see how I thought this through? Very mindful, very demure, and very considerate of my mental health (I saw that on TikTok a lot; I'm sorry😭).

I would need reassurance for sure. I overthink a lot, so having someone to say it's going to be okie or give me the option to come to them if freaking out would be nice😭. However, it has to be from someone I would listen to or feel safe around because, if not, it is no use. Mental health =👇🏻🤯😃😰☠️.

Miro Board process:

[Updates from 8th August]